Happy New Year everyone!
It’s such a joy to see that God has brought us into another brand new year. It would be nice, wouldn’t it, if at the beginning of every year, life would re-set; all the mistakes of the past would fade away, and we’d start life on a totally blank slate. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work and although it already looks like the cycle of chaos is just continuing, I’m choosing to see this as a cycle of perseverance, and overcoming. God is good.
Since the holiday ended, I’ve been crunched for time. It felt as if every thing that had been halted during the break was released all at once. And so I literally have to squeeze out time to write this post.
The holidays were so much fun. I and my nephews and nieces travelled to my hometown to spend the Christmas and New Year. The change of location and pace was appreciated. The best thing about everything was getting an opportunity to really rest. I was going through my journal recently and I realized that last year, I was so tense, so on edge about everything that I didn’t even know the root-cause of my anxiety. But getting a chance to pause everything really helped me to unwind. Unfortunately, all the binge-eating, and anime-watching could not go on forever, and alas we are in a new year so, it’s time to polish the gears and start running again.
2022: GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS
2021 was quite the year. So much happened. There was so much growth but one thing I truly regret is how much my writing suffered. Unfortunately, I didn’t write during the holidays either. It was so bad that I’ve started forgetting the names of characters and plot points in my current WIP.
This year, I want to write. And I want to write actively how I used to back in 2019 when I wrote almost everyday. Back then, I posted something new on the blog every other day, and I made so much progress in my WIP that I was working on three different projects at the same time. It would take some effort to go back to that frequency in my writing, especially considering the busyness of work and the electricity problems we are facing right now. But I’m determined. I was thinking about giving myself one hour writing sessions everyday from 08:00pm to 09:00pm. Unfortunately, the electricity problems have been paired with a faulty generator so most evenings are spent with me in the dark unable to use my laptop to do anything. Even when I start writing again, I would have to go over to the beginning of the story because I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten much about the story. But I don’t want to make excuses anymore, and as the year goes on, I’ll let you guys know if I made any progress in my writing.
Hey, just a reminder. Do you know I have a book on Amazon. I can’t believe I forget about my own book. I have to be the worst indie writer ever. I don’t even promote my book and I’ve given up entirely on checking if anyone is even buying it. lol. I’ll post a link in the spirit of seriousness so check Reverse Falling out if you want. I promise it’s fun. I promise I’m an actual writer.
Another goal of mine in 2022 is to sing. I still have not learnt a thing about music but I want to sing again. God has been using the Light metaphor to instruct me. He has been speaking to me repetitively about being a light, not holding back.
14 “You are the light of the world.(A) A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.(B) 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others,(C) that they may see your good deeds(D) and glorify(E) your Father in heaven.Matthew 5:14-16
And I remember that when I was 17, I gave myself the personal motto, To be a beacon of bright light. I even wrote a song about it and everything. I guess amid all the chaos of my life in the past few years, I’ve forgotten the foundation God laid in my life, the responsibility I had to shine for Christ. I’m not part of a praise team, unfortunately but I want to sing again. My voice still needs work but I don’t want it to stop me. I don’t plan on becoming a gospel artist over night. I don’t have the talent but I want my voice to ring out.
What are the steps to achieve that goal? Well, I need to sing. I don’t post worship videos like I used to. I can’t exactly learn the technicalities right now. I was planning on learning my guitar for real this year but right now, it’s not quite feasible since I have A LOT! going on. But no excuses. I need to do it either way.
On my birthday, God spoke to me from Isaiah 12 and after three months after giving me those words, He is still dissecting those words in my heart.
2 See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; 3 With joy you will drink deeply from the fountain of salvation! 4 In that wonderful day you will sing: “Thank the Lord! Praise his name! Tell the nations what he has done. Let them know how mighty he is! 5 Sing to the Lord, for he has done wonderful things. Make known his praise around the world. 6 Let all the people of Jerusalem shout his praise with joy! For great is the Holy One of Israel who lives among you.”Isaiah 12:2-6 NLT
And I’m coming to understand that this is my year to stand and SHINE for the Jesus. To be a sprinkler and let the waters of joy that God has poured upon me to flow out to others. I want to be a lighthouse shining resiliently to bring the desperate and hopeless to Christ. I want to be a neon sign the brightly pointing arrows saying, “this way to your comfort, Here! Here is Christ! He’s the one who can save you. He has saved me, when I was a literal pile of human garbage and He can transform you too.”
(Are the metaphors enough? Yes I think so.)
It may look like a massive ambition but I’ve seen how fruitless basing goals on human ability can be. Having selfish ambitions only lead to disappointment. But if I center my purpose around Christ, if I put Him first, He will never fail. Even in death, the victorious power of His blood prevails.
So I want to sing this year, no excuses. I want the world to know of God’s faithfulness and love because in this season of chaos and confusion and fear, in this dark era of terror, this is where the Light of God can shine brightest.
In January, I’m taking a break from social media to really seek God’s face. I cannot have such an ambition to glow, and not cleave close to the God of Radiance. I got a mandate to give January to God so that He would handle the rest of my year. I’ve not recovered from what God did in my life in August when I went on that fast. And I feel, going into that wilderness will prepare me for something overwhelming in this year.
My prayer for the 27th year of my life was for God to swallow me whole, to envelope all of my being and take control of every tiny detail of my life. I want His light to shine so brightly over me that every flaw in my life melts right away. And this step is very very necessary. It’s just such a comfort that I can pray for discipline and Grace and God can help me overcome in my time of thirst.
2021 ended with disappointment yet again and it was a bummer but I had to resign myself to the fact that the trend of disappointment may never end. I may shed even more tears than I have and it may never get better physically but I will never stop singing. Bitter situations may come but I must never let that bitterness reside in my heart. I don’t ever want to give up on God. People may think I’m insane but I will keep believing even at the times that it looks as if everything that could go wrong is going wrong.
I’ve learned that it’s pointless praying for a utopia free of problems. The utopia is heaven and we will get there someday, by God’s grace. But as long as life remains, there will be enemies and battles. I must fight to rejoice. I must fight to say God is good no matter the pain or disappointment or fire I find myself. I must pray that others prosper when I’m hungry and poor and striving. I must humble myself before God and let His name be exalted despite how pathetic I may feel.
In my expectation sheet for 2022, I wrote a number of things I wanted God to do. I won’t reveal what I wrote but before the year even starts, I’ll say that even if none of those things manifest, I will still call God faithful. That’s the level of faith I desire this year.
I want to thank you for reading my post. And I welcome you to the new year once again. If you are reading this, you are blessed and I pray God’s perfect mercy over you.
Leave a like for an “Amen”.
Comment for a “Hallelujah”
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I’m kidding of course. Thanks for stopping by. Have an awesome 2022.