I think back to the times I used to hate myself. I believed the lies of “ugly” and “useless” and “untalented” and “weak” but I still haven’t gotten over when He called me ‘beloved’. At that moment, all those other words turned to noise and faded out.
So many faux smiles in the past. But true joy, comes from Jesus. Sometimes, I feel like a broken record but I can’t say it enough. Peace and Joy and Hope is found in Jesus.

Satisfaction. In the world, it’s unattainable but in Christ Jesus we know we are unfazed. We know the point of the pain.
2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
When I think back to all the faux smiles and battles and tears silently shed in my room, I do not regret. I no longer ask, why did I have to go through all that? I can see now the testament of trials. My time in the grinder has taught me what true love and worth and strength is. So the tears of my past makes my grin wider. I smile knowing that the pain refined my story, and whatever pain I may still face has a divine purpose.