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September, I See You

Howdy! Welcome to the month of CHAMPIONS! Sounds super cheesy but that’s how I feel. I need not announce that September is the month when God chose to drop me on this earth. And yes, I’m pretty excited.

But before we talk about the ‘tember, let’s check up on August.

August

Yeah. August was long. For me, it felt like the longest month in 2021. I went on a fast, at the beginning of the month. My prayer point being, “God, I’m tired of being restless about every other thing in my life but being content with where I am with You.” I was tired of my stagnant faith and I was tired of the anxiety I felt about every little detail of my life. I needed a swap. I needed a roaring hunger for Jesus more than I’d ever had before. And I just needed to cool it with the fears for my future. I needed God to come over and envelope everything, my fears, hopes and insecurities.

The fast was hard but God was gracious. I cut out most things that I was using to distract myself, anime, mobile games, social media. And at that moment it was just my heart and God. And I know God really worked on that thing. I wrote down the things I learned in August and it’s a long list so I won’t get into the details right now. But three key things God taught me were,

1. Trust Me with your life, Anne
2. Do not neglect the power of compassion and kindness
3. Pursue wisdom found in Christ in every decision you make

Back in July, embers stated to glow in my heart and I didn’t know what to do about it. I wrote all about it pretty vaguely but to be open, what happened was that I fell in love. It was weird because I didn’t know what to do about it. I had closed my heart off to romance for a while but it seemed as if this came out of nowhere. I thought something was wrong with me for feeling this way. But I took a chance, and I wrote a love confession to the person and now we are happily dating.

lol

I’m kidding of course. What actually happened was that I prayed about it and in association, my marital destiny and God gave me peace on it. I did not confess to the person, YET.

But God used this entire debacle to teach me that love is not manipulative. It doesn’t cause discomfort, true love. It isn’t really spontaneous but it lingers underneath, praying, waiting, believing for the best for someone else. It’s premeditated, how Christ knew from the beginning of time that His blood was the final deus ex machina. Love is constant, how Jesus loved us from the beginning of creation and how He will love is until the end.

I don’t know if the person I’m admiring is my future husband and I’m not going to engineer it because I trust God with my future. But because my heart has been opened to love another human, I understand how Jesus can love us a little more.

I see Jesus as a standard for love and know that He is patient with me. He never stops loving me, even when my love wanes. That was the point of God opening my heart to fall in love after all this time.

I fell in love, expecting heart break, but God healed my heart instead.

If you want to read the love letter that I never sent, subscribe to my paetron. (Kidding.)

To conclude, in August, I learned that if you put God first, He will take that position and spin your life into something beautiful.

And I almost forgot. I found a new job in August.

Le ‘Tember

God’s grace really permeated through my life in August. I found favor in the smallest things and grew in ways I never expected.

I realized how much time I had to spend with God and meditate on all He told me because I cut off my distractions. And I don’t want to return to that distracted life. Even though my social media fast is over, I don’t want things to go back to how they were in July so in September, I will be cautious of how much time I spend online.

About my birthday. I have zero plans (as usual). I was thinking of doing a vlog or something but my birthday falls on a Thursday and there’s work to consider. The way it’s looking, I may not even have the time to bake a cake. But that’s fine. Every birthday since I graduated uni, I reflected on my life and pray and worship and I’ll do that as well.

I intended to write about the importance of having real devotional time everyday and how I achieved that in August by the grace of God. Centering your plans for the day around fellowshipping with the Father. Cutting out distractions so it’s just you and God. Overcoming the bad habit of mumbling, mechanical prayers. But I’ll address all that in the video for September which should be linked below.

(Hello September Video)

Thank you for reading my post. Thanks for your prayers and love. And seriously, I need someone to vet my love confession letter so if you want to read it, hit me up. Have an awesome day.

Emah OUT!

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