Flo had never dated anyone in her life. Even though she was a soppy romantic who could not read a sad story without breaking down in tears, even though she was nice, even though she considered herself “attractive”, she had never been involved in a relationship before. She never experienced that ‘connection’. Yes, she was a virgin, but this was not about sex, it was about companionship. It was about that feeling you got when that ‘someone’ looked into your eyes and you felt like the only girl in the world.
She was a Christian, she knew she had to try her best to stay positive. “Even the birds have their mate”, the bible said. But sometimes, she was overcome by this terrible sadness that caused her heart to ache and was only relieved when she shed a bitter tear. She remembered just starting Uni and agreeing with her friend that she would start dating in her third year but time passed, and no one came. Everyone around her had someone, but not her. It was as if she had a man repellant hidden in her flesh. She’d put up a brave act and concur with friends when they would say “you are so lucky Flo, you don’t have to deal with all these relationship problems” She didn’t feel lucky, she wanted to feel as if she had a choice.
At this point of her life, she expected that she would have passed that level. She was already in her twenties and It was not as if her standard was so high, it was a human, a man who could understand her thoughts, and see her in his great future.
Most times, she got over he sadness using her mind, it was her greatest asset anyway. She would imagine men, suitors who came bearing gifts, sweeping her away into the Starry night, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She laughed at her childishness and told no one about these fantasies. But she enjoyed daydreaming because at least, they took away the blues. But today, daydreaming was not enough. She lay on her bed as hot tears stained her pillow. She reassured herself that it was a matter of time but, still, that fear peaked its ugly head in her heart. The fear that she might remain eternally single.